Grumblings

I haven't posted for awhile because June was so very busy and action packed that I just didn't know where to start. Now I'm posting, not to fill you in on our great trip to Utah, or to tell you about Rob finishing his thesis, but just to whine and complain. Prepare yourself for some serious wallowing. 

I've been very tired this past week. Not only have I pretty much been the sole caregiver for my kids for the past three weeks, but I've been suffering PMS for just about the first time in 3 years. Man has that come back with a vengeance! It's been very hot here, and while I don't mind getting sweaty while I'm running or biking or whatever, I really do mind it when I'm trying to get to sleep at night or just being in the house in the middle of the day. And then, my dear and loving husband told me yesterday, in an oh-so-casual, by-the-way sort of way, that we have to move to Spokane. I can't begin to tell what a blow this is, especially after I was reassured by same husband that we wouldn't have to be moving for at least 2 more years. I don't transition well. It has taken me these last three years to begin to feel like I belong here in Pullman, that I actually have friends and purpose. And even though I have no close friends- no one who will be all that upset to hear I'm leaving, the thought of having to go to a new place and start all over again is devastating. 

In all fairness I should state that I can understand why we have to move. Rob HAS to finish his PhD work in 2 years or we'll be without university funding and the professor he will be working with is in Spokane. As much as I'd like to just tell him to commute, there's no way that's happening. And we wont be moving for a few months at least. I think Rob said last night that we can't move until he finishes a class or two here in Pullman. I'm not sure because as soon as I realized he wasn't joking when he said we have to move I pretty much tuned him out and haven't really spoken to him since. (sorry honey)

I feel like a heel complaining like this, especially cause I just got an email from my mom reminding me that my cousin starts chemo today to kill all her bone marrow (plus her immune system, reproductive system, hair, etc) to try and get ride of her MS. She'll be in the hospital for a month, then in an isolation apartment for another month, the whole time not being able to see her boys and after all that no one really knows if this will work. There is so much suffering in the world and my own little heartbreak is really insignificant in the face of it all. I'm trying to keep a healthy perspective, but it is hard. 

With that, have a great day!